Downward Slope
by ms hearse
Summary: Marriage Law story. Hermione needs a husband, but will she go as far as marrying a Slytherin?
1. Only Seventeen

_I want to thank my beta reader again. She does wonders. _

_Downward Slope_

_Chapter 1: Only Seventeen_

"I've been exempted."

"Exempted?"

I shuffled about my seat for a moment, suddenly finding it uncomfortable to sit.

"Yeah. Well. Uh," he stuttered. "We're so young, you know? I don't want to rush into anything. I'm -- I'm not ready."

"Oh," I said.

"Not that _you_ are, I mean, _maybe_ you are. I don't know."

"I see."

"You okay?"

I blanked. I had, what, a few months left to figure it out? I could find someone else. I could.

My head shook "no." It was a lie. Pure-bloods were few and far in-between, and most were loyal Slytherins.

"Hermione?" he said, looking curiously at me.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

I snorted mockingly.

"What's the cause of your exemption?" I asked.

"Oh," he said, a little embarrassed. "I kind of said I was, um, playing a different field."

"Excuse me?" I choked.

"Yeah."

"And when did you expect to tell me?"

"Oh, uh, I was just waiting for, er…"

"My magick to be gone, perhaps?" I said, raising my voice.

"No, Hermione! I just didn't know how to tell you, is all. Don't cry," he said, reaching out to calm me.

I slapped him hard against the cheek in response, leaving a reddened print against his skin.

He gasped. It wasn't like me to lash out, but I didn't want to be the only one sulking.

"Don't be like that," he said.

I felt my eyes start to water as I left the common room. It was after dark, but I had to walk out my frustrations. Mostly, though, I needed to be away from Ron.

I thought about the Ministry's law. I could still hear Dumbledore's voice reverberating around my head, even as I continued to stumble around the dark hallways.

"If you cannot verify full magickal ancestry, you are bound by law to marry someone who can. If you do not, your wand will be broken and you will be stripped of your magick."

I wandered mindlessly until I no longer recognised where I was. I stopped and leaned up against the wall. The waxing moon peered in through the windows, giving me light. I bowed my head, resting my chin against my chest, and tried to push the thoughts out.

"Out after dark, Miss Granger?"

I knew the voice better than anything: strong, slick, defiant.

"Yes, Professor Snape."

"Five points from Gryffindor."

"Yes, sir," I said.

He cocked his head to one side and furrowed his brows.

"What's wrong?" he asked tenderly, while still remaining somehow detached.

"I was just wondering," I said, "how the marriage law is fair."

"Is anything fair?"

"Well, yes, I'd like to think that some things are," I said.

"Then you're deceiving yourself," he said.

"Is life really that pessimistic?"

"I like to think so."

"I'm starting to believe it," I said.

He inhaled deeply and squinted as if deciding whether he really wanted to know.

"Ron doesn't want me," I continued anyway. "He's been exempted because he claims he's, um, how did he put it? 'Playing a different field'?"

"That explains a lot," Snape interjected thoughtfully.

I choked back a laugh with a look of surprise.

"Er, I just don't know what's going to become of me."

He scoffed.

"Do you really need to know?"

I frowned.

"Miss Granger," he said, "you're just another student who thinks she can wander the hallways at night and bother her teachers. Does any of it really matter?"

"I'm sorry to bother you then."

He eyed me for a moment, then sighed as if giving in.

"You really want to know what I think?"

I nodded.

"Be grateful Mr Weasley doesn't want to marry you; he's an imbecile. Stop moping and find someone else. Someone who deserves you.

"Now go back to your common room, or I'll take away more points."

I was speechless. It wasn't like Snape to be so kind. I walked back the way I had come until I found a hallway I recognised and took the rest of the way slowly in order to think things over.


	2. The Owlery

_Chapter 2: The Owlery_

I was determined to find someone to marry. After talking with Snape, I had pushed Ron out of the picture entirely, making the conscious decision not to grieve for the loss. If he didn't think I was worth marrying, then neither was he.

I sat outside on an empty bench. Ron sat two benches away: unallowed to join me, though he tried. I watched the passing students with a critical eye, trying to distinguish the pure-bloods among them.

I ended up watching a toad that had landed at my feet instead.

"Trevor!" Neville yelled as he leapt from behind me somewhere, chasing the toad past my reach and into the courtyard.

My fingers tapped on my thigh at the sight of him trailing the toad. I had never seen Neville in _that_ way before, but he _was_ a pure-blood, after all. Perhaps it wouldn't be a particularly romantic relationship, but he was sweet and would be kind to me.

"Neville," I called out.

"Oh hi, Hermione."

"Neville, I, er…"

"Yeah?"

I focused on his hair. There were dead leaves stuck in it that made him look befuddled.

"Um."

"Hermione?"

All I could see was the hair. Maybe it was a sign: one that I would be ignoring. I picked the leaves out of their prisons.

"Thanks," he said, uncertain.

"Neville," I spat, nervous.

He flinched.

"Yes?"

"Will you go out, I mean marry, well, no, go out with me? Sometime. Soon."

There was a long pause. I couldn't look at his face. I tried to dig up weeds with my shoes as I waited.

I heard him inhale.

"I sort of already filed for engagement."

I nodded, and kept nodding until my head hurt.

"I'm not really a first choice, so I had to move fast."

"No, that -- that's fine."

"Ginny. She said yes."

"That's great."

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I know she's not a seventh year, but under the law I can pick anyone. And, well, I've always liked her."

"That's great," I said again.

I stepped backwards, trying to flee as nicely as I could.

"Great. Er, see you, Neville."

"Okay," he shrugged, confused.

I turned before the tears came.

There was only one thing left I could think to do. I headed straight to the owlery.

I didn't want to worry my parents with news of a forced marriage, but I needed their advice more than anything. If they thought it best that I came home, I would.

I walked up the steps to the owlery and threw my bag in a corner.

"You again."

I jumped.

"Sorry, Professor," I said, "I didn't see you there."

Snape leaned against a window's ledge. I dug through my bag to find a quill, but was finding it hard to concentrate while Snape eyed me from his post.

"Ahem. Um, sir, what are you doing here?"

"The owlery?" he said. "Believe it or not, Miss Granger, teaching dunderheaded children isn't the only thing I'm good for."

"Right," I said, embarrassed.

I found a quill and parchment and a tidy place to sit just outside the main entrance. Every once and awhile I looked up from my letter to see if Snape was looking my way, for though he never was, I had the distinct feeling of being watched.

I signed the parchment and chose an ugly, black owl to send it off with.

"You were right, you know," I said at last.

"About what, Miss Granger?"

"Ron isn't good enough for me."

He looked at me then. His face was expressionless.

"Good," he said.

"So then I asked Neville, but…"

He groaned, "Longbottom? You're only digging yourself further in with him. I thought you were intelligent!"

"He said no."

"You're worth more."

I looked him straight in the eyes.

"Sir? Do you really think that highly of me?"

His eyebrows raised in alarm.

"When I was in my sixth year," he said, "I was dared to hide a stolen article on the topmost pillar of the owlery. To see properly, I had to lean out of one of these windows.

"As I balanced my weight on the ledge, my robes caught on a notch in the stone. I tried to pull the robes away, but in so doing, I lost my footing and fell off the ledge.

"But because my clothing had caught, it held my weight just long enough for me to grab a hold of the ledge and pull myself back up to safety. It was then that I realised that death was inevitable. The only control you have is to decide whether you fight it, or embrace it."

"Sir?" I asked. "Who do _you_ think I should marry?"

"I think," he said, "you should have your robe snagged in the stone."

He smiled slightly. It sent a chill up my spine.


	3. Pressure Points

_Chapter 3: Pressure Points_

I watched the owls circle around the tables at lunch. When the parchment dropped in front of me, I could feel the anxiousness grow inside me.

It was from my parents.

_Dearest Daughter,_

_If you wish to come home, we are here for you, but we do not recommend it. Magick is a part of you and you need to fight for it._

_We cannot tell you who to choose, but whomever it is, we trust that he will be a good man. Trust your instincts. Follow your heart. We believe in you. We love you and miss you._

_Love and Kisses,_

_Mum and Dad_

I pulled the letter to my chest, holding it close to my heart. Time was passing: something drastic had to happen. I needed to fight, like Snape had said.

I grabbed Harry on the way to Divination class.

"Harry! Come here!" I said as I shoved him into a corner.

His eyes sprung open in surprise.

"What do you need, Hermione?" he choked.

"How's it going with Cho?"

"Oh, um, fine."

"Have you filed for her yet?"

"Um, no," he said. "I keep meaning to, but I'm scared that…"

"Good!" I exclaimed. "I need you."

"No one's filed for you?" he asked.

"No."

"Ron?"

"We're not, er, just, uh, no."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, well, that's where you come in. I need you to file for me."

"Hermione, I can't. I don't _like_ you like _that_. I mean, I _like_ you, but…"

"Likewise, Harry," I said, a little hurt. "But neither of us are pure-bloods. We're both in danger of losing our magick, so you should understand how important this is…for both of us."

"Yeah, but doesn't that mean we _can't_ marry? If neither of us are pure-bloods?"

"Technically."

"Okay?" he said, questioningly. "I'm still lost."

"Harry, if we hurry up and get married before the law can be enforced, it won't affect us."

He stared out over my head as though in thought.

"There's a shortage of decent pure-bloods. At least with you, I'll have a good life."

"What about Cho?" he asked.

"I…" I started, but trailed off. "I don't know. She'll -- she'll marry someone else, I guess."

"Yeah."

"Please, Harry," I begged. "Please."

There was a moment of silence.

He sighed.

"You're my best friend, Hermione, but I can't. Ask me for something else. Anything. It's yours."

"Yeah."

He smiled, albeit sadly, as he headed for Divination.

My blood rushed to my head and pounded in my ears. The hallway began to elongate and tremble.

It wasn't like me to faint; I suddenly didn't want to be alone, but I knew no one would come. Harry didn't want me. He wanted Cho.

I couldn't be the force that made him unhappy. It wasn't in me. I had to find someone else. I had to give him Cho, no matter how vulnerable it left me.

I inhaled a deep breath and walked slowly down the corridors until I reached the large, oak door of Snape's office. I knocked.

He opened the door so harshly that I thought it would unhinge and fall to the floor. He rolled his eyes as he let me in.

"Miss Granger."

"I'm so confused."

"Find a therapist."

"Please, Professor," I said, "you have to help me."

"Who is it now?" he muttered.

"Harry."

He rolled his eyes again, this time slightly more exaggerated.

"And you need me because…?"

"Well, sir, he wouldn't take me."

He took a seat and motioned for me to do the same.

"_No one_ wants me," I whined.

"Miss Granger," Snape said quietly, "I don't particularly care about your problems. Maybe you should find someone else to confide in."

"But Professor! You told me to fight death, remember? You can't tell me that, then leave me to fail."

"I am a very busy man."

"The longer we discuss not discussing it, the longer I'll be here."

He stared at me so intently then that I squirmed a bit in my skin. I worried that I had pushed it too far, so I stood up and nodded and prepared to leave.

"Sit down, Miss Granger," he said.

I did. I sat down so fast that I wondered if I'd ever stood up at all.

He sighed.

"You're thinking too much," he said. "Sometimes the answer isn't calculable. Sometimes you have to use your gut instinct."

"What does that even mean?" I asked disparagingly.

"It means you're being too restrictive. Expand."

"Expand what?"

"Your requirements!"

He stood up and walked around the room, circling my chair like a vulture in waiting. It made me nervous, and I grabbed the bottom of my chair and dug my nails into the wood.

"The only thing _the_ _law_ requires is ancestry. Since you do not possess the necessary _purities_, you have to find someone who does, or act fast."

"Like with Harry."

"Exactly. But Harry is still within your limits. What's outside your limits?"

"But I don't want to marry a Slytherin!"

"Deal…with…it."

"Why? Why does it always have to be me that suffers?"

He dove down to my eye level, grasping the back of my chair as if in attack. I froze.

"You don't want a Slytherin, but you certainly sound like one."

"Is this supposed to help? Aren't you supposed to help?" I whined.

He released my chair and tossed his hair from his face.

"Professor?"

"What!"

"Who are you marrying?"

I thought I saw him grimace as I asked.

"I'm not as fortunate as you. I don't have as many choices," he said. "If they aren't already married, then they aren't daft. There's only one person who has the guts to stomach me. And _I _can't stomach _her_."

I waited for the name, but he didn't say it. He seemed to be in deep thought and I feared stirring him from it.

Somewhere in the silence, however, I found the courage to speak.

"Who is it?"

"Pomona."

"Professor Sprout wants to marry you?" I asked, not believing what I'd heard.

"She's of pure ancestry. And she hasn't said no."

"Has she said yes?"

He moved to the door and pulled it open, motioning for me to leave.

"That will be enough, Miss Granger."

I didn't push it. I clutched my book bag and left as fast as my legs would take me.


	4. Rushing Fate

_Chapter 4: Rushing Fate_

When a letter arrived the next morning, it was not from my parents.

I made myself look at the signature, at the man who filed for my engagement, and almost choked.

I had to wait until Potions class was over to tell Snape. I kept my eyes on him during the entire lesson, not allowing them to wander around the room to find where the demon sat.

When everyone had finally filed out, I rammed the parchment under Snape's nose.

"Draco Malfoy," he read.

"Draco bloody Malfoy," I repeated.

"Hmm," he said.

"He doesn't even like me. What is he doing? Is he mad?"

"Calm down," Snape barked.

"Calm down? Calm down?!"

"He's pure-blooded. Unless someone of the proper ancestry challenges the engagement, allowing you to choose, you have to marry him."

"I don't believe this."

"Unless…"

"What?" I asked, desperate for some hope.

"You were already married."

"There isn't enough time to find someone."

He stared at me.

I retreated into my mind, trying hard to find an answer. He started to tap his finger on the desk, still staring intently at me. His impatience loomed over me as I thought.

"Expand," he finally said.

I looked at him. And I knew.

It was like my brain had shut off and I could feel the beating of my heart taking over. There was only one who was right for me, and I'd known it all along. 'A good man.' 'Trust your instincts.' 'Sometimes the answer isn't calculable.'

"You have to use your gut instinct," I said aloud.

He didn't move.

"You are the only one who's made sense around here. You told me to stop thinking, to follow my heart. I'm finally listening! And my heart has brought me here. It brought me here over and over and I never heard before, but I hear it now. Marry me.

"You told me to expand. This is as far as it goes. You don't want Professor Sprout and I don't want Draco. We like the same things. I can keep up with you, which is more than you can say about Sprout. And you -- you make me feel alive."

I fidgeted with my hands, unable to keep still; my eyes focused right on him. He leaned back in his chair. I kept quiet, letting it simmer in his mind.

"You want to marry me?" he said amused.

"If you'll have me."

"A Death Eater?"

"We all have our problems."

He snorted. It made me laugh.

"Tonight?"

"Tonight?" I asked. "No, no, I have to tell my parents first."

He rolled his eyes.

"They have to give their blessing," I said.

"What about Malfoy?"

My breathing deepened. I knew what he was saying, but as I looked into his eyes, I couldn't help but shiver. Not five months ago, I was just a student. But now, tonight, I would leave that behind, lose my name and become _Mrs_ Bat of the Dungeons.

Suddenly my head began to hurt.

"Hermione?" Snape asked, concerned.

"Uh," I stuttered.

It was the first time he had used my first name. The shivers spread to my hands. Snape took them into his own hands and held them still. I looked back at his eyes.

"I'm ready," I said.

"We don't have to do this," he assured me.

But I was ready. My shivering had ceased when he took hold of my hands, and so had my doubts. He really was a good man, I could feel it.

I also knew that Draco would not calm my nerves the same way. I had to do whatever it took to keep him from my life.

"Let's go."

Snape nodded, and moved towards me awkwardly. I frowned. He smiled slightly, and kissed me lightly on the forehead.


	5. Faking It

_Chapter 5: Faking It_

It could be said that Snape fulfilled a deeper role than husband. He was much older than me and often regarded me as a nuisance. I could have married another student, someone my age, but I didn't.

I knew Snape was a father-figure. I knew by not having magickal parents, that he appeased that special need in me for a father to teach me magick.

But I didn't care.

It had been an awkward wedding, but as I lay in his arms that first night, I felt at ease for the first time in months. I could tell somewhere inside me that I always loved him; I just needed to admit it and succumb to it.

He tightened his arm around me, pulling me closer. I smiled.

There was a tapping at the window. It startled me, and I hid under the covers until my heart stopped beating wildly.

Snape dressed and opened the window to let the owl in, which dropped a parchment in his hand and flew off again. He frowned as he read it.

"It's from the Ministry," he said. "They claim that our marriage isn't legal…"

"What?!"

"…and we've been ordered to separate until your union to Malfoy."

My heart raced again as I jumped up, threw on a robe, and grabbed the parchment from him to read myself.

"Can they do that?" I asked.

"I'm afraid they just have," a voice called over the sound of flames in the fireplace. Dumbledore appeared from the burnt floo powder, holding a similar parchment.

"I see you've found yourself a wife, Severus," he said.

"Why isn't it legal?" I asked.

"Because it goes against their rules. Because Lucius influences the Ministry, making his son top priority. Because they wouldn't exist except to irritate us. Pick your poison," Snape muttered.

"I've been asked to keep you two distant," said Dumbledore.

"We'll appeal," said Snape.

"You should," said Dumbledore.

Snape turned to me and took hold of my shoulders.

"We'll fight this."

"How?"

"By law," said Dumbledore. "I assume you have already consummated the marriage?"

Snape nodded.

"Then you are legally married, and there is nothing that can change that now. The only trouble is being able to prove it to them. There will need to be concrete evidence."

He eyed me. My own eyes widened.

"A baby?"

He nodded.

"But -- but -- but a baby?"

"Foolproof."

"How am I supposed to get pregnant while we're separated?"

"That's the point," Snape said. "They're trying to keep it arbitrary. If you can't prove it, it doesn't exist."

"Bloody hell."

"What if she fakes it?" Snape asked.

Dumbledore nodded.

"Hermione," Snape said, "I trust you're smart enough to find a potion that will work."

"I'll make one up if I have to," I said.

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "Yes, I think that would be worth trying. But you'll need to be clever, Miss Granger; no one can find out you're lying. You can have anything you need to accomplish it, and anyone you need to help."

"I need him," I said as I pointed to Snape.

"Anyone else," he said. "And you're excused from classes and exams until this is resolved."

"Am I allowed to owl you?" I asked.

"I'm afraid not," Snape said. "They're probably worried about us planning something behind their backs."

I nodded.

"I -- I love you," I said.

He cocked his head to the side in a nervous manner. Dumbledore moved to the fireplace and motioned for me to follow.

"I…" Snape spoke as the flames encircled me, but I missed what it was he said.


	6. Learning to Dive

_Chapter 6: Learning to Dive_

I missed him. I tried not to, but it took all my might not to think about him. I would see him sitting by me, helping me, but when I looked twice, he was gone. It surprised me how quickly I had become sensitive to his absence.

I took a deep breath and mixed a few more ingredients into the cauldron. It boiled rapidly and splashed drops up on my face. I wiped it off.

The potion turned bright red. I ladled it into a cup and sniffed it: a distinctly vinegary smell. It had been my third try at this potion alone, and I was growing weary of its potential. I drank the mixture and waited for the fizzing to settle down in my stomach.

But nothing happened.

I tested, but it remained negative, no matter how long I waited, or how many tests I took. I threw the cup across the room and kicked the cauldron over, spilling the potion on the floor. It was useless. I was never going to find a way to fake pregnancy. I would just have to accept my fate and marry Draco.

I sighed.

I thought I'd finally seen an end to the chaos, but this, this was unforgivable. Apparently finding a suitable husband was easier than reinstating the validity of one that already existed.

I knew two things for certain: firstly, I wasn't advanced enough in my studies to chemically fake the pregnancy, and secondly, I would need to up the odds.

Taking a breath, I rushed to the game that was bustling outside. I wasn't particularly fond of Quidditch, but the fresh air could be helpful. I found a spot near the Gryffindors' main entrance and crouched down on the damp grass to watch.

The noise level was incredible, even from the grounds where no one else sat. The players bobbed to and fro of each other, up over the towers, down nearly to the roots of the grass, even in through the goals. It made me nauseas just watching.

I couldn't see where Harry was, but Draco was plain to see. He hovered just above the topmost goal, searching the playing field for the snitch. He caught sight of me and swooped down to where I sat just long enough to smile and wink at me.

I rolled my eyes; something I had learned from Snape.

Draco circled back around to give it another try, but was distracted by the announcer who was buzzing about the reappearance of Harry on the field.

"It seems he's found the snitch. Yes, folks, that's right: it looks like a short game. Harry's already diving for the gold."

Draco's broom halted in mid air and spun toward the center of the field where Harry was plunging faster and faster. The crowd grew silent as Draco drew near.

I saw the shimmer of the snitch then. It wasn't below Harry at all, but up over his head. Just as Draco reached Harry's supposed target, Harry dashed up, causing Draco to spin off balance from the force. The crowd sprung to life again as Harry grabbed hold of the snitch above him and held it out for everyone to see.

"Gryffindor wins! Again, I might add," shouted the announcer.

I jumped up from my spot as the players came down one by one and heaved Harry up onto their shoulders. They paraded in from the field, shouting and waving their arms in the air.

"Harry!" I yelled over the cheering.

"Hermione?" Harry called back, signaling for the group to let him down. "Where have you been?"

"Harry, I need you again. This is far more important."

"Okay," he said as I led him away from the festivities.

"I finally filed for Cho," he said. "She said yes."

"Harry, I married Snape."

"Wh-what?"

"It's a long story, but the Ministry says it isn't valid because Draco's ancestry is…"

"Wait. Draco filed for you?"

"Yes."

"So you married Snape."

"Something like that."

"And that was supposed to be _better_?"

"Harry, just listen," I said.

"Shouldn't that be against school policy, or something?"

"Harry!"

"Sorry."

I took a deep breath.

"The Ministry says we have to prove we've…"

"Don't tell me."

"…um, okay…"

"Just don't tell me."

"Or I have to marry Draco instead."

"How are you going to do that?" he asked.

"Get pregnant. But Snape and I aren't allowed to see each other."

"Kind of makes it difficult."

"Exactly."

Harry furled his brows while he thought about it. I waited, despite the urgency inside me to shake him, to make him see. I needed him like never before. I needed him in the most inappropriate way imaginable.

I could see the light switch on in his head. His arms flailed out and his eyes widened in alarm.

"Harry, please," I begged.

"I can't! I'm engaged. You're my friend. You're asking too much this time."

"If I don't get pregnant, I'll have to marry Draco and lose my _current_ husband. Don't you see?"

"What if you're already…?"

"Don't be daft."

"It only takes once."

"What are you, my mother? You're not getting out of this."

"Why me?" he whined.

"Because you're the only one who cares," I said.

"Cho?"

"Don't tell her."

"Hermione," he said, "I can't do it."

"I know," I said, "but you're all I have."

His gaze dropped.

"I did promise to help you with _anything else_."

"Yeah."

"Cho must never know," he said.


	7. Giving Up

_Chapter 7: Giving Up_

It was a mixed blessing. I needed it, but I didn't want it.

As I stared at the positive sign on the pregnancy test, I couldn't help but feel guilty. I didn't know who I had become. I was using everyone and anyone to get what I wanted, when all I ever wanted was to be left alone to grow up.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and rot. I touched my stomach. It would be hard to explain this one to my parents. Married or not, it wasn't his child. I was a bride, an adulterer, and a mother, all before my eighteenth birthday.

Running away was definitely the only alternative. I wasn't sure I could face Harry again, which would be inevitable if I stayed. Then there was Snape. Cheating on him to be with him seemed vastly more unethical now that I really thought about it: now that I'd done it.

I slipped the test into an envelope and sent it off with a sturdy looking owl from the owlery, and decided to take a slow walk to the dungeons as I waited for a reply.

I'd barely made it to ground level when an owl swooped in through an open door with a parchment for me. I read it and was overwhelmed with grief. The Ministry was not going to give up until I was dead; and even then, I greatly doubted I'd be safe.

I was allowed to see Snape again because of the pregnancy, but was still not legally secured to him. I would have to prove paternity of the child before they would give me that.

I slammed the parchment down and stomped it into the stone floor. It was useless to me now that I knew what I had to do.

It didn't matter that I'd cheated on Snape. It didn't matter that I'd put my friend in the middle of it. It didn't even matter that _I was_ Snape's wife. The Ministry was going to wield their power however they wanted.

"Ouch."

Something pecked at my head. I looked up to see a second owl waiting to give me post. I took it and swatted the bird away. It was a letter from my parents.

_Dearest Daughter,_

_Although we were elated to hear that you found a suitable husband so soon, we are concerned about your choice. A teacher? _

_But as you have left out any details, we cannot reprimand you. You are an adult in their world. We trust you to act like one._

_If you feel right about it, then it must be right. We give our blessing._

_Always follow your heart. If you are true to it, it will never lead you astray._

_Love,_

_Mum and Dad_

I crumpled up the paper and threw it down beside the first.

I had to visit Snape. I had to tell him it wasn't his. I decided to run the rest of the way, or risk losing the nerve to face him.

I tried his chambers first, knocking with all my willpower. He answered; but instead of a warm embrace, I was greeted with uncertainty. I felt the tears well up, but I wiped them aside; I needed to get through this without the sprinklers.

He invited me in and I obliged.

"I don't want to waste your time," I said.

"That isn't possible," he said.

"I'm pregnant."

He nodded. My tears came faster then; I couldn't catch them in time, so they flowed down my cheeks and speckled my shirt.

"But it isn't yours."

His face dropped.

"I was scared to lose you, so I…I…"

He didn't move to comfort me.

"Sometimes principles must be challenged in order to get to our chosen destination," he choked out. "You did what you needed to do."

He just stood there with his face oozing disappointment.

I never wanted to see that look on his face again. I rushed out without another word.

He didn't follow me.

I packed my belongings and snuck up to the Headmaster's office without being noticed. I didn't know the password, but Harry had told me once that it was often associated with sweets. So I rambled through as many sweets as I could.

"Chocolate frogs. Licorice sticks. Lemon drops. Apple fritters."

The gargoyle began to creek and move.

"Apple fritters?" I said, curious.

There were voices on the other side of the stone, and I realised that I hadn't used the correct password, but that Dumbledore was just leaving. I stood my ground.

Dumbledore and Flitwick were discussing something trivial when they finally came into view. They both stopped at the sight of me.

"Headmaster," I said, "I need to speak with you. It's urgent."

"Of course," he said, before excusing himself from Flitwick and directing me back up the stairs to his office.

"What can I do for you, Mrs Snape?"

I flinched. It was the first time I had heard my new surname.

"Sir, the Ministry has lifted the separation between Snape and me."

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Because I'm pregnant."

"Yes."

"But they want to prove it's his before its official."

"Most unfortunate. But yes."

"It's just that," I said, "…that I want out. I'm tired of chasing something I'll never be able to have."

Dumbledore looked at me over his half-moon glasses.

"This will all end when you're far enough along to take the blood test," he said.

"No, it won't," I said.

His expression didn't change, as if he already knew. Then again, Dumbledore always knew.

"You want me to take away your magick?"

"Yes."

"You're quite sure."

"Yes."

"What does Severus say? Why isn't he here with you?"

"I -- I haven't exactly told him," I said.

"I see."

"Please, sir, I just don't want to break his heart any more than I already have. All I can hope for at this point is a quiet life at home, away from all the chaos of the Ministry."

"Would it not break his heart if you left without a goodbye?" he asked.

"We've said our goodbyes," I said.

He continued to stare at me with concernment.

"And you know the severity of what you are asking? You can never have your magick returned."

"I know."

"It will most likely take any magick away from your unborn child as well," he said.

I sighed.

"I've thought of that."

"And?"

"It's for the best."

He pulled out his wand.

"Severus will not be able to join you. He must stay in good standing with Voldemort if he wishes to live."

"I understand."

I lowered my head and said a silent goodbye to everything I was giving up.


	8. Defenseless

_Chapter 8: Defenseless_

I suppose it had never made sense why Draco had wanted me: perhaps just to spite Snape. But whatever it was, he was passionate about it, for he had no intention of letting the matter go, even with my apparent disappearance from the magickal realm.

He showed up one evening on my doorstep, just days after I had returned to the Muggle world, wand drawn and eyes fiery red.

"Draco?" I said disbelievingly. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Hermione," he said, pronouncing every syllable as menacingly as he could.

"What do you want?"

"Justice," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"How deep does your relationship with Snape go?"

"Get out of my house," I said.

"Make me."

"Who is it, dear?" asked my mother as she ventured into the room. Upon seeing the wand in Draco's hand, she stopped and looked at me in alarm.

"Ah!" Draco said with a sudden lift in his voice. "Just in time!"

"Leave her alone," I warned.

"Or what?" he asked.

With a flick of his wand and a mumbled Cruciatus curse, mum was writhing on the floor before my eyes. I tried to take the wand from him, but he shook me off.

"Now, now, it'll be your turn soon," he said to me.

I watched, helpless, as my mother twisted and twitched. I could feel my sense of reality leave me, and couldn't help but think I was imagining the entire thing. It was my defense: the only way to see such a horrid sight without a way to stop it. After Draco lifted the cruse, she stayed there sprawled on the floor, motionless, but breathing.

All sound left my ears then. I could see Draco, unappeased by my mother's pain, turn my way. I couldn't run. I couldn't scream; or, if I did, I could not hear it.

He shot a spark at the windows, breaking the glass. I saw the anger in his eyes.

I cried out, "You're mad! Get out of my house!"

He laughed.

His wand flicked the broken glass my way. I crouched down, clutching my stomach with both arms. The glass dug deeply into my skin.

When I looked up, Draco was grinning. My body was sore and bloody, and at the sight of it all, I began to shake.

"Why would you choose _Snape_ over _me_?" he yelled.

"I hate you," I said.

"Will Snape come save you?" he asked. "What will it take?"

"Go to hell."

"Wrong answer," he said while blowing out another window.

I didn't have time to wrap my body up again before the glass hit.

"Wish you still had your magick, Hermione?" he asked tauntingly.

"Go to hell!" I screamed.

"When will he come for you?!" he screamed back. "Does he love you?"

"Yes," I said.

"Then why isn't he here?"

"He'll come."

"When?" he asked. "When you're dead?"

"What do you want?"

He stopped. I took the moment to stand and brace myself against a wall.

"What do you want?" I repeated.

"I just want to be loved!" he yelled. "Why don't you love me?"

I tried to breathe, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. For a second, but only a tiny fraction of a second, I felt sorry for him. I wanted to hug him, to hold him, and tell him that he didn't need to compete for love.

But that second came and went.

"Because you're mental!" I yelled.

He pushed me flush against the wall. Just as he placed his wand at my throat, the front door burst open, hitting hard against its frame, breaking the hinges.

Snape flew in and pulled Draco off me. I kept to the wall as I watched him disarm Draco and throw him across the room. Draco was no match for Snape. He tore Draco apart, throwing him up one wall and then another, and smashing him into the glass bits that scattered the floor.

When Draco was finally bruised enough for him, Snape lunged his whole body against Draco, trapping him against a wall.

"Don't _ever_ come back here," he said.

Draco nodded profusely.

"If you even _look_ at Hermione again…"

"I won't," Draco said. "She's yours."

"What?" Snape asked. "What was that?"

"She's yours," he said.

"Remember that," Snape said, loosening his hold.

Draco Apparated the second he was freed.

I collapsed over my mother, who still lay motionless. She was a little out of it, but otherwise seemed fine. Snape knelt down beside me and grabbed my arm.

"See what your ridiculous behavior has done?" he asked. "I'm taking you back to Hogwarts. You'll be safer there."

"My ridiculous behavior?" I said, feeling the anger rise up inside me.

"There was no need to take your magick away," he said.

"I see you talked to Dumbledore," I said.

"I would have handled it."

"Oh, great, you would've _handled it_?!" I yelled. "That's what you say to me? _I would have handled it_? Why are you here anyway?"

"Hermione."

"No, _Severus_."

"Hermione! Stop being so stubborn."

"_I'm_ the stubborn one, am I?" I asked.

"Stop."

"Leave!" I yelled. "And never come back!"

"You're bleeding."

"Yes, brilliant," I said. "Now leave."

"Harry is sterile."

I stopped breathing. The room began to spin.

"Are you trying to make me feel better? Because that isn't funny, Sev."

"He didn't pass the physical."

"How did you know?" I asked.

He cleared his throat.

"I -- found his test results."

"No, I mean I never told you it was Harry," I said.

"It wasn't hard to figure out," he said. "You have him wrapped around your finger so tightly, it wouldn't be beneath him to offer his sperm."

"I'm going to ignore that comment."

"I came to take you home, Hermione, before I knew Malfoy was here. I don't care what happened with Potter. You are my wife. Come home."

There was a moment of silence as I took it all in. He forgave me. He loved me. And it was his.

"It isn't my world anymore," I said.

"It will always be your world."

I gulped loudly and lowered my head. I had been so depressed without him that it seemed surreal to finally have him.

"Are you nervous?" he asked.

"A little," I said.

He reached out and grasped my hand, holding it firmly in his own. I looked down at our intertwining fingers.

"Don't be," he said.

I smiled.

It felt right.

It felt like home.

_________________________________________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've received so much love for this story (even though I've pissed off a few people along the way…)! I appreciate every comment and story/author favs. Thanks for the encouragement; the attention has me hyped up and ready to write. I have at least three new story ideas brewing, so check back with me soon. In the meantime, check out my other stories if you haven't already!


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